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| "I want my mile and a half back." Post 23 and a half mile run Mum. |
Last week Mum described herself as a permanently exhausted pigeon. Mum, is definitely not a pigeon. I have eaten a pigeon and it was scrawny, crunchy and delicious. Mum is scrawny, crunchy and delicious too, but she is definitely not a pigeon. I am sure. Her feet are far too big.
Mum did her first and probably only 22 mile run before Manchester Marathon last week. It was a very nice day but Mum was feeling poorly. Mum picked herself a good route, flat, with many adequate bushes, loaded up her backpack with lots of water and jelly babies, shoved more jelly babies in her pockets, and scoffed her own body weight in porridge. Mum decided to make the most of the nice day and resolved she would not look at her watch at all, not care about how slow she ran, just complete the run.
"Really Mum, not at all? I don't think you can run 22 miles without looking at your watch!" I wuffed.
"I can, yes, really, I do not care, I will just run, I have a route, I know how long it is, I will just trot and pootle. It will be fun." Mum did not look convinced that it was going to be fun.
Before Mum could do her long run she first had to drop the two legged pups at school. Mum decided to run with them while they cycled, as then she'd have done a mile and a half already and would only need another 20 and a half miles after she'd shovelled them through the school gates. Mum reworked out her route and was pleased with herself.
After literally forever Mum waddled back through the door looking a bit green but rather satisfied. She was really, really salty because it was a hot day. I set to work sorting that out right away while Mum did her important things. There are lots of important things runners have to do after running, things like stretching, and drinking, and eating high protein food, but I have realised the most important thing they have to do before all this other stuff is load their run onto Strava. No matter how exhausted a runner is they can always find the energy to plug in a watch. Until they have put their run on Strava they can't settle down to the other stuff which I guess is only almost as important.
Mum put her run on Strava, and then said some bad words. I looked at Mum a bit shocked. Mum said the C word which she doesn't like at all. She said it in a big stream of other bad words. I drooped my ears and nibbled Mum's laces. Mum, what is wrong?
"I want my bloody mile and a half back," Mum said, "I'm knackered, and I want it back!" "Wuff," I said, for want of anything better to add. I licked the salt off Mum in an extra loving way as she was clearly upset about something I didn't understand.
When Mum stopped turning the air blue with bad words she told me "Wuffle, I stopped my watch when I dropped the two legged pups off. I thought I paused it, but I stopped it, by accident. Then I ran 22 miles. 22 more miles. I'd already done a mile and a half. I just ran 23 and a half miles and I want my mile and a half back! I even changed my route to make up the distance, I thought I'd worked it out wrong." I looked sympathetic and moved on to getting the sweat out the back of Mum's knees. Then I realised. "Mum, you looked at your watch! If you hadn't looked at your watch you wouldn't have known the distance was wrong."
Mum looked at me. "Wuff, wuff, Wuffle," she said, which is an odd thing for Mum to say, then she started making raspberry noises at me which she definitely doesn't let the two legged pups do. I wuffed back and Mum stomped off for a shower.
After Mum got over her grump she was pretty pleased with her week's training, wracking up almost 50 miles. Mum said everything was slower than she'd like but given her health issues and the impact on training, she felt she'd done well all things considered. She even did a 10k race on the Sunday which she cheerfully declared a "personal worst" when she got home. I wondered why she seemed quite cheerful about this and she informed me that was because she'd expected a much worse worst and she'd been surprised to do what she did, and get round without any stomach issues at all.
The really good thing about Mum having done so many miles and a race yesterday, was that I was sure she would be staying home and snuggling with me tonight. I had an egg earlier that I wasn't entirely meant to have and I had many good smells for sharing. Imagine my surprise when Mum put her trainers on and announced she was going out for an "easy 10 miles with Will" in the howling wind. Mum was a bit chirpy about having someone to run with and I was too, because when she has someone to run with she runs on quiet country roads, and in the dark she treads in more poo than you can imagine. I of course provide an excellent trainer cleaning service. To my surprise Mum came home looking chirpy too. She declared herself "beyond tired" and said she's getting used to running with heavy legs and running not feeling easy. Mum seemed to feel positive about this. I felt positive too, because Mum was positively delicious and as she left me and Dad with the eggs smells tonight, I wonder if she may have forgotten what the egg smells are like and let me have another tomorrow. You never know your luck!
Before Mum could do her long run she first had to drop the two legged pups at school. Mum decided to run with them while they cycled, as then she'd have done a mile and a half already and would only need another 20 and a half miles after she'd shovelled them through the school gates. Mum reworked out her route and was pleased with herself.
After literally forever Mum waddled back through the door looking a bit green but rather satisfied. She was really, really salty because it was a hot day. I set to work sorting that out right away while Mum did her important things. There are lots of important things runners have to do after running, things like stretching, and drinking, and eating high protein food, but I have realised the most important thing they have to do before all this other stuff is load their run onto Strava. No matter how exhausted a runner is they can always find the energy to plug in a watch. Until they have put their run on Strava they can't settle down to the other stuff which I guess is only almost as important.
Mum put her run on Strava, and then said some bad words. I looked at Mum a bit shocked. Mum said the C word which she doesn't like at all. She said it in a big stream of other bad words. I drooped my ears and nibbled Mum's laces. Mum, what is wrong?
"I want my bloody mile and a half back," Mum said, "I'm knackered, and I want it back!" "Wuff," I said, for want of anything better to add. I licked the salt off Mum in an extra loving way as she was clearly upset about something I didn't understand.
When Mum stopped turning the air blue with bad words she told me "Wuffle, I stopped my watch when I dropped the two legged pups off. I thought I paused it, but I stopped it, by accident. Then I ran 22 miles. 22 more miles. I'd already done a mile and a half. I just ran 23 and a half miles and I want my mile and a half back! I even changed my route to make up the distance, I thought I'd worked it out wrong." I looked sympathetic and moved on to getting the sweat out the back of Mum's knees. Then I realised. "Mum, you looked at your watch! If you hadn't looked at your watch you wouldn't have known the distance was wrong."
Mum looked at me. "Wuff, wuff, Wuffle," she said, which is an odd thing for Mum to say, then she started making raspberry noises at me which she definitely doesn't let the two legged pups do. I wuffed back and Mum stomped off for a shower.
After Mum got over her grump she was pretty pleased with her week's training, wracking up almost 50 miles. Mum said everything was slower than she'd like but given her health issues and the impact on training, she felt she'd done well all things considered. She even did a 10k race on the Sunday which she cheerfully declared a "personal worst" when she got home. I wondered why she seemed quite cheerful about this and she informed me that was because she'd expected a much worse worst and she'd been surprised to do what she did, and get round without any stomach issues at all.
The really good thing about Mum having done so many miles and a race yesterday, was that I was sure she would be staying home and snuggling with me tonight. I had an egg earlier that I wasn't entirely meant to have and I had many good smells for sharing. Imagine my surprise when Mum put her trainers on and announced she was going out for an "easy 10 miles with Will" in the howling wind. Mum was a bit chirpy about having someone to run with and I was too, because when she has someone to run with she runs on quiet country roads, and in the dark she treads in more poo than you can imagine. I of course provide an excellent trainer cleaning service. To my surprise Mum came home looking chirpy too. She declared herself "beyond tired" and said she's getting used to running with heavy legs and running not feeling easy. Mum seemed to feel positive about this. I felt positive too, because Mum was positively delicious and as she left me and Dad with the eggs smells tonight, I wonder if she may have forgotten what the egg smells are like and let me have another tomorrow. You never know your luck!
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| Working from home Dad gets all the best smells! |
Mum was also incredibly pleased that her trip to parkrun this week resulted in a complete clear out of her stock of dog toys raising lots and lots of money for Vizsla Rescue in the process. Mum did note that she needs more to send to Cufts on Thursday so a couple of days of extreme plaiting are called for. I love it when Mum plaits, I sit by her feet, on my blanket, mostly. Apart from when I'm testing the plaits. Or testing the dangly bits she's plaiting. Mum says I'm a "complete bloody nightmare," which I think means a great fun Pupster because she only says it when we're playing great games.
If you haven't sponsored Mum's efforts and you can, please do click on the big red button. Vizsla Rescue is a fantastic charity doing great work to help look after and rehome dogs who would otherwise have extremely sad lives. We both appreciate all the support that's been given and Mum and I are determined to keep pushing with the training and fundraising right up to the now scarily close marathon day.
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